What's With This Male Ritual

A bit of an odd headline for the today's entry I know. It's something that has been on my mind a lot lately and for no good reason other than I have paid much more attention to it lately because as I sit patiently between sets at the gym I see more and more of it happening, especially based on the time of day and those showing up. This, like many trends, started out long ago and I guess I sort of got used to it or maybe it went away for a while and is making a come back?

I really couldn't tell you honestly or with a straight face that I knew what it was all about and the real reasoning behind it other than the slight possibility that it has to do with being in the 'inner circle' and knowing 'the code' so-to-speak, for said inner circle(s). Though I thought that it was more surrounding the gang or prison life? Possibly the motorcycle clubs of today and days gone by, that would even make more sense to me. Of course all of those aforementioned trends do somehow resurface in pop culture via teens and twenty somethings watching rap videos and related shows.

As a prime example of what I am talking about, but can't seem to get to the point, is to take notice of the other annoying and admittedly stupid trend that has been going on for quite a while. Surprisingly about 5x longer than I ever expected it to, although we can keep our fingers crossed for luck that it's dying out. That is; wearing your pants around the halfway point of your ass while you have your swamp-ass, shxtty smelling boxer shorts that mom bought you hanging out for the world to see.

My bet is that if polled, 86.75309% of people the vast majority wouldn't have any interest in seeing a random, skinny ass, white teens underwear, especially a guy! At least if women did this more times than not it would be with taste or at least a little style or lace thrown in for interest. Not plaid dollar store boxers.

Anyway, glad you are still with me. If you've made it this far you're nearly to the point, promise. I kinda went off on a bit of a tangent for a few rows of digital ink. Okay so, back to my original tangent, more like 'observation' is how I'd like to classify it the more I think about it.

I can't help but notice when I'm in the gym for example, as that tends to be the most common place I see it anymore simply because the other places I spend my days are far away from most of the riff-raff I see at this particular time at the gym I go to.

Anyway, I know, I know get to the flippin' point already! Okay, so I'll continue using the gym as my example; what happens is that I see guys come strolling through the gym doors with a hint of a swaggering, pimp-like, tired and in need of a nap stroll. At this point they could cut to the chase and simply identify their friends and say 'sup brotha' to one another as they typically do upon entering.

Instead, they do all of the above but the 'sup brotha' is followed by each of them doing this entire 'routine'. In its simplest form it's one you'd expect to see while observing peacocks in the wild during mating season or watching some sort of 'birds of the rainforest' special on the Discovery channels 'bird week'.

On the bright side of it, at least they are at the gym to workout, not sit around and chat while taking up space for those of us that are there to workout. Anyway, the arrival of one of these 'social peacocks' is apparent to any onlooker, even those lacking an untrained eye because they show up prepared for just about anything the gym could throw at them.

 At least one backpack, at least one gym bag, shoes tied together by the laces and strung over a shoulder, a jug of water, some protein mix, creatine or related powdered additive and whatever else they muled in that day with them. Never too far from them unless stowed away in a locker, rare, but does occasionally happen.

Okay, so once in the main room of the gym it's as though a fuse was lit and a domino affect takes place as they methodically, step-by-step begin taking notice of everyone in the gym with a quick scan as well as taking note of who's not that day. Of course not missing a beat to razz someone immediately for not showing up one day, maybe having on a shirt they dont like because it's of a rival sports team. Other times it's nothing more than verbal shenanigans.

This is immediately followed-up by an almost natural categorization process that an onlooker with an untrained eye would miss. It's literally as though they have just polled the entire floor based on stature, again think birds mating. They identify the first 'brotha' of interest then swagger that direction (btw, they are 9/10 Asian, Spanish, Caucasian or mixed so this is not a racial thing).

Once identified they both make eye contact, head towards each other unless one is already in a group or has rank over the latest social peacock to enter the room. There are those that sometimes approach while mumbling shxt, talking about something random or pulling punches ragging on one-another about yes-ta-day.

Once they are nearly to one-another, less than three feet if I had to guess, they each hold out one arm with open palm as though they are heading in for an epic 'gimme five'. Not a high five or one on the low side, something that more closely resembles a sidearm baseball pitchers form. Once the swing is in motion, they do slap hands, but this is where the similarities end. Once their hands connect they both merge from this introduction slap into what almost resembles a classic handshake that transitions into another move which is used to pull one another in close.

This move transitions into a chest bump - though one with very little rebound, it's important to continue to stay close but slightly offset, you know so it's not 'gay' (rolling eyes). Once touching and slightly rebound they pause, just long enough, that it's not mistaken as an embraced hug. Instead this time is in place to give one-another a pat on the pack and sort of push off and away all still in one motion, kicked off by the opening slap.

Once both guys are at arms length they again begin the hand slapping, clicking and clucking among other things. All very similar to a new age, male, form of patty-cake. The advanced version of this has the two mumbling and talking smack again or reliving yesterday's greeting, who they did or did not see or otherwise.

Depending on the amount of identified people in the gym this can go on for several minutes or longer, starting again for each person so everyone gets their turn.

This entire thing always grabs my attention and I cannot help but to observe the rituals. While I don't pretend to fully understand the purpose behind it, this has got to take a lot of time out of the day to maintain if an important aspect of your social stature.

Later Bro

So once everyone is settled in and working out they continue to talk and do those things you'd expect from anyone while working out. Including helping one-another (spotting) if one is going for a new max weight. All well and good of course for many reasons. Of course they'd be much further along in their workout had they not taken the time to do the 'social peacock' rituals.

A Conclusion

Unfortunately I don't really have any conclusion to this ritual, again, only an outsiders observations. I still don't fully understand its purpose or benefit and won't pretend to either.

One day if I happen to better understand or I have a breakthrough in my understanding I will have to write a follow-up post. Until then the curiosity remains that I don't know and just don't understand what the hell is going on.

Photo: I could not help myself when I saw this car today I had to finally snap a photo of its badge. I hate these cars, I hate them more than wind if you can believe that! They are the stupidest thing to ever be on the road in an area like mine, filled with giant SUV's. Even then I'd not be caught in one, in the middle of nowhere, with a gun to my head to drive it to some random place.