On the positive side of things Zoey has never met mom and mom has never met Zoey so we are planning for today to be the big day that they meet one another. I know that neither one will really understand who exactly they are meeting nor will they remember it, but it's super important to me that Zoey knows who her grandma is on my side of the family as well. I have said it in the past, and I am sure this will not be the last time I say it, but I am so sad that Zoey will not get to know her. We are a lot alike and I think because of that Zoey and her would be best buds, 2 peas in a pod for sure.
Unfortunately those are not the cards that were dealt in this life so we have to play the hand in front of us and go from there. No matter how you look at it things can change in a blink of an eye and we all forget that too often and too easily anymore. We all still feel as though we are bullet proof and nothing is going to stop us. Hell I am not old, nor am I a spring chicken anymore but I still feel fairly bullet proof at times.
Yes this is coming from the same person that has to be careful in the morning until his muscles warm up because of my jacked up back - ha ha. In my defense, my back has been screwed up for as long as I can remember so its a given that it will only continue to get worse as much as I hate admitting that. Doctors have told me the same thing after doing x-rays and tests and generally those along with statistics and patterns will validate the data the see with me fairly accurate - ugh! I am a little, OK a lot, stubborn so I want to do what I can to prove their "data" inaccurate!
Anyway, we will see how today goes with Zoey and mom. I am hoping that I can get a photo of her and Zoey or maybe all of us or at the very least me, Zoey and mom and one of Cicely, Zoey and mom and then others depending on moms mood and ability to stay focused on something. I hope she is having a good day, I want Zoey to remember her that way, if she happened to, which I know deep down she will not, but I can hope.
I will update this part of the post on the way back later today if Cicely drives us down there. It's about an hour drive so there is plenty of time to do so. If nothing really happens or it was a total flop I may just leave this as-is. Again, all depends on how the day comes together.
**Update: The visit with mom went beautifully! Her and Zoey visited each other for 15 minutes or so, meaning that mom held Zoey and played with her, tickled and talked with her for that long and I was even able to get a few good photos of them together - that really means the world to me.
Mom even remembered that Cicely was pregnant with Zoey and everything. I think that it made her happy. Mom was looking really good and seemed to not be very "out of it" today which made me very happy. Some visits she is stuck on something like needing to get somewhere or maybe something or someone from her past that she is suddenly remembering and wants to stay on that topic the entire time.
For me, I always want to hope the disease is slowing down a little, heck better yet slowing down a lot! Big picture and back to science and reality I know that is nothing more than wishful thinking though, most, if not all of those diseases do not slowdown ever, much less rest, unless people affected are medicated from the start and she was not and is not now either.
Anyway, super happy to report that it went off with out a hitch and both grandma and grand daughter were able to meet one another. I think Zoey was a little thrown off at first because mom is not as strong as she use to be so it was harder to hold Zoey and Zoey could sense that I'm sure. No matter I am so very thankful they could see each other and I am confident in my heart that mom really enjoyed the visit as well and was fully aware what was going on - thank you, thank you universe for that special gift to both of them!
Oh and after our nice visit with grandma / mom we didn't go to get ice cream like I thought we would have based on Cicely's usual cravings after a visit with mom. Instead she was sure to let me know what she wanted instead, and the minute we got back in the car no-less. So we drove back to Reno and we hit up one of her other usual cravings (especially when she was pregnant) Outback Steak house for dinner - and she wanted to get a margarita to drink - kinda funny because this is the second one for us both in two days. The joke has been that we drink them because baby cries - sure she does, but what baby does not and honestly - no, that is not why we drink them - sheesh!
Although I was a "bad daddy" and gave Zoey the smallest, and when I say small I mean a dribble on the end of a straw small, taste of my strawberry milkshake I saved calories and room for in my stomach for desert. I think she liked it a lot, and because it was little to nothing I am sure it did not spoil her at all for any other foods. That, I would not risk!
Great Ride
Managed to get my ass out of bed at 6:45 AM this morning even though I was shooting for 6:30 AM, but I will take it. I wanted to go on a nice ride before it got hot out and before the wind kicked up. Plus we had originally planed to go to this place Cicely and I love to get brunch once I got home, showered and related.
Unfortunately we were not able to go get brunch today because by the time I got home and showered then got ready it was nearly 1:00 PM and they close at 2:30. Cicely was still sleeping on the couch with Zoey and Oggy and I was not going to wake them up. Neither one of them slept very good last night and actually neither did I.
Zoey was up whimpering and crying all night about every 15 minutes or so. When that happens, as it has been for a couple weeks, it makes it really difficult to get a good nights sleep. We are woken up just as we start to go into a deep state of rest then have to calm her down and start the process over again. If Cicely brings her into bed with us she sleeps great, just not in the crib or the bassinet. I am on the fence whether it's good or bad to have kids in the bed with you.
Is it bad to make them independent that fast? I mean she has been inside of the womb for 9 months, snuggled up and cozy along with lots of white noise constantly and now, just 5 months out of hotel womb we expect her to flip 360 and sleep in what feels like a giant open space to her?
At the same time they say its bad to let them sleep with us because it can be a really difficult, if not at times impossible habit to break for a very long time. While we already have the same problem with our fuzzy kid in bed, and hogging the entire thing, we would not have it any other way.
Okay back to the subject of this section, my great ride today. It was a really good ride and even though it was only 33 miles and some change it was a lot of fun and felt great also. I rode from the Spanish Springs area up near the North Valleys, once there went South until I hit this hill called Dandini Blvd and climbed that BITCH of a hill, with wind no-less!
Once at the top the hill turns into Parr blvd which is where the police station and short term jail is. Actually I think it may be semi-long term as well for those serving 30 days, maybe even for longer? Heck I don't know and would rather not find out unless I can find out online. So that road heads West and ends up at a street called North Virginia which I took South until I hit McCarran Blvd and took it East back towards Spanish Springs.
I did make one stop at this elementary school that my step-brother use to go to back in the day. It has some nice comfortable benches and shade so it was the perfect spot to enjoy my peanut butter and strawberry preserves sammich before completing the final 8 miles or so back home, mostly uphill and in the wind again.
I think I am going to have to add that route to my list of favorite routes to take even though it does have at least 2 climbs that make my legs feel like spaghetti. Oh I did get to use my new Garmin heart rate monitor chest strap today as well. It came in the mail yesterday so I set it all up last night and snugged it up so it fit correctly knowing I would try it today. It worked great, no disconnects or weird data what-so-ever that I could see which was great!
I was also really happy that my heart rate seemed to be in a good zone as well, and able to come back down quickly when not exerting a lot of energy. I was worried it was going to be some crazy embarrassing number and I would then never wear the thing again! Okay, I am lying I would still wear it - the whole idea behind getting it is that it really helps me with my breathing and power output. At a glance I know how my "engine" is working and whether or not I am over doing it or could push a little harder.
Get Out The Door
Okay, that will have to do it for today unless I decide to come back and add some more regarding the visit with mom - that-is if we ever get our butts out of the house. It can be really tough to do when both of my girls are sleeping so peacefully together on the couch along with my fuzzy boy Oggy! Heck, I just looked up and realized that it's already pushing 2:00 PM so by the time we get to Carson it will be fairly late as it is.
If we left right this minute and drove straight there and made good time we would not be there until nearly 3:00. If we then stayed to visit for an hour it would be 4, then come back home, assuming we did not stop - which I think we might because Cicely really likes going and getting a Baskin Robins ice cream when we leave because there is one right there by moms. With that stop and just getting back we would not be here at home again until nearly 5:30 or 6:00 at best.
That is one of the reasons it can be difficult to motivate ourselves to go down as much as we love her and love seeing her. The 3 to 4 hours out of the day is really hard when we have such limited time to do all the crap that needs to be done and we don't have enough time for that either.
To add to these little "gotchas" we have to try and time it just right so mom is not going down for dinner or lunch when we get there or that can really complicate things and change the whole dynamic of the visit. Plus I think it messes up her day a little because she is on-track with her meals, but not much else because of the stupid disease.
With that, Cicely just got up and Zoey seems ready for a bottle so I have a feeling - OK a hope that we will be hitting the road soon. most likely if she is making her a bottle we will be feeding her first and that takes some time, then the diaper change and outfit change after. Next getting everything ready to put in the car, stopping to get fuel because I guarantee you Cicely's car is riding the needle on empty on the gas tank as usual - that's my girl! Okay, enough out of me - gotta go!
Photo: Our parking spot at moms place, not much else to snap a shot of to share otherwise today.
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