To my surprise I am happy to report that is exactly what happened. I ate dinner (Cicely made us her home made pizza that I absolutely dig) and shortly after my plan was to turn on Netflix and find something to watch and kill a little time since Cicely was going to be working on projects all night. Yea that never happened and I was out like a light within 15 minutes at best with Oggy curled up alongside me to help keep me toasty. She swears she did not crush up Tylenol PM into my slices of pizza, hmm I'm still a little skeptical about that.
The goodness doesn't end there. Usually Oggy starts his licking marathon about 5 or 6 in the morning. I can only assume this a K9 ritual to start prepping for the day. Problem is, he is usually slapping me with that wet ham steak (his tongue) most of said marathon and not only is it a little gross, its annoying when you are half asleep, not to mention the clacking sound he makes while doing it all combines to make it hard to sleep. Nope not today, on this fine morning Cicely scooped him up and took him out to the living room so I could lay in bed and get an extra 45 minutes of sleep (he actually started what I call "lickfest" a little late today, around 6:30 instead of the usual time). Wow did that feel good to lay in bed for that extra 45 minutes and get some snooze-sleep.
I should also mention that its not just the licking, slapping of the tongue, clacking sounds. It's also the fact that it leads up to him coming over to my side of the bed and wanting to get under the covers with me once he is "clean", sounds great right? It is actually, except for the fact that he is now wide awake and no matter how hard he tries to lay back down his primary focus is the alarm clock and the time, yes he knows certain times - call me a liar, dont care. I think its more the shapes on the clock he recognizes but who am I to make that call because he is spot on 98% of the time.
Anyway, he will lay down for seconds to minutes at best. Next the anxiety kicks in and causes him to stand up every 2 to 5 minutes. If I am lucky he only does so to give me a lick on the face just to be sure I am still alive or awake. Problem is, he usually manages to smack me in the face, what I refer to as getting the "pimp paw" or worse, he will step on my triceps muscle in the process!
Oggy is only a 11 pound dog but you have not felt pain quite like this when you are half asleep and have your triceps muscle pinched between the bed and a paw, albeit nicely groomed and dull paw. Heck, I think it gives stepping on a Lego while heading to the bathroom in the middle of the night type pain a solid run for its money! Sometimes after giving you the triceps "wake the hell up" message he will slap you with his ham steak tongue just to be sure you are ok. Message received loud and clear. Generally the lick does not do much more than make you flinch. Unfortunately at times you jerk from the surprise ham steak slap and it starts up an entirely different set of pings and pains while half asleep jerking about to avoid the next one.
What is this routine all about? I think you know the answer. He wants his breakfast of course. Not his fault either, we are the ones that have him so well trained that he knows its time to eat around 7 in the morning and 7 at night. Let me tell you its like clock work too, he doesn't ever miss the time and it amazes us each and every day.
No matter where we are or what we are doing he will be giving us that "you know what time it is, shouldn't you be going to the kitchen 'bout now" stare. If for some reason we have not noticed the time we may say to him, "what is it Oggy", then we look at the clock and what do you know, its 6:45 or 7:00. Most days he is a little early, but that is just his way to get it on our minds if you ask me.
Anyway, I do have a point. That being, I am well rested today and it feels really fuckin' good, thanks Cicely for those few extra minutes this morning, it really means the world some days. For those that are reading this thinking "throw that dog outside" or something like that. First, fuck off, he is part of our family and you would not throw your kid outside for bugging you in bed no would you? Who knows maybe you would.
Back to my point, don't get the wrong idea about our fuzzy kid being a pain. He is the best little dog and way smarter than I could have ever imagined you could train a dog to be, especially a Chihuahua since they tend to be stubborn. He blows our minds all the time when he shows off how smart he really is and how many things are not just habitual as we would assume them to be.
The "get your ass out of bed" routine he does is honestly not his fault even though the obvious would say that it is. He is only doing what we have trained him to do ever since he was a pup. Not to mention he is so dam handsome, I can only stay mad for a micro-second although the bumps and bruises on my arm last much longer!
He deserves his day to start the way that he is accustomed to just as we are. He depends on us and is always there for us unconditionally day in and day out. Ready and waiting with a wagging tail and attentive to our mood to make sure that even if our day did not go the way we hoped, he will do his best to fix that in every way he can before we close our eyes, only to do it all again tomorrow.
Respect all living things. Time is limited for everyone and everything, treat it as such. Once the day is gone there are no do-overs or anti-quitsies.
Photo: Compliments of Cicely, Oggy wearing a toy for a scarf and I actually think he liked it!
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